WHAT’S INSIDE
🗓️ Every “not tonight” — archived
32 excuses, from “I have a headache” to “the cat is watching” — plus your own handcrafted masterpieces.
🔮 Tomorrow’s forecast
“92% chance of ‘I have a headache’.” Model accuracy: suspiciously high.
🌙 “These days” radar
An honest model predicts when to stock up on chocolate — uncertainty included.
🏆 34 awards for endurance
From The Optimist and Full Moon Theory to the year-long crown, All Four Seasons.
📊 Year in Rejection — stories-ready
A 9:16 share card. She’ll see it in your stories. Worth it.
🤐 Privacy, literally
No accounts, no analytics, no servers. Your shame stays on-device.
THREE TONES OF VOICE
FREQUENTLY ASKED
Is this a serious app?
No. It’s a humour app for couples: a calendar where every “not tonight” gets logged with a joke excuse, a streak and an award. The engineering underneath is real, though — the statistics and the cycle prediction genuinely work.
Is it free?
Yes. The calendar, 32 excuses, statistics, 34 awards and the Year in Rejection card are all free. 100500 PRO is an optional tip jar that adds a 7-day forecast, PDF certificates, moon-phase analytics and a few extra badges.
What happens to my data?
Nothing leaves your phone. No accounts, no analytics, no servers — the app is fully offline, and “Reset everything” in Settings erases the archive for good.
How does the “these days” radar work?
It’s a small Bayesian model over the days you logged with that reason: it filters implausible gaps, weights recent cycles higher and shrinks the result toward a 28-day prior. It reports an honest ± window and a confidence figure instead of pretending to be certain.
Which languages does it speak?
English, Russian, Spanish, French, German and Brazilian Portuguese — including all the jokes, which were adapted rather than translated word for word.
Does it work on iPad?
It runs on iPad in iPhone compatibility mode. A proper iPad layout is on the list.
“This app is based on true events. All 100500 of them.”
— The Committee of One Hundred Thousand Five Hundred Reasons