WHAT’S INSIDE
🗓️ Every “not tonight” — archived
32 excuses, from “I have a headache” to “the cat is watching” — plus your own handcrafted masterpieces.
🔮 Tomorrow’s forecast
“92% chance of ‘I have a headache’.” Model accuracy: suspiciously high.
🌙 “These days” radar
An honest model predicts when to stock up on chocolate — uncertainty included.
🏆 34 awards for endurance
From The Optimist and Full Moon Theory to the year-long crown, All Four Seasons.
📊 Year in Rejection — stories-ready
A 9:16 share card. She’ll see it in your stories. Worth it.
🤐 Privacy, literally
No accounts, no analytics, no servers. Your shame stays on-device.
THREE TONES OF VOICE
🕊️ Gentle
😏 Sarcastic
🤡 Absurd
“This app is based on true events. All 100500 of them.”
— The Committee of One Hundred Thousand Five Hundred Reasons